Does your tween or teen grandchild (nephew or cousin) act sullen, angry, illogical, and overly emotional? Do they engage in risky behaviors you never dealt with when raising your kids? You may struggle to understand this young person or feel connected to them because you feel like you are always correcting them or trying to get them to straighten up.
We get it – raising tweens and teens today is challenging. When you add the layers of neglect, chaos, loss, or impacts from living with parents who have substance abuse disorders, it can feel like you are flying blind and caught in a vicious cycle of unhappy interactions. You wonder how and when they will become healthy, whole persons.
Understanding Teen Development
The tween and teen years are a period of significant brain growth and development. Though the process doesn’t finish until their mid-20s, their brains are changing rapidly. They are starting to view the world differently. They are also trying to figure out who they are and where they belong. Their brains are trying to learn the skills of taking in information from the world around them, organizing it, and processing it for use in daily life. And then, from all that input, they craft their sense of self.
Additionally, their bodies are growing rapidly, and they may feel uneasy in their own skin. Their hormones are erratic, and their emotions are all over the place, too. This transition time from child to adult is challenging for them to navigate. There is a lot going on all at once inside each of them. All of these developments make the tween and teen years tough on you, too!
Supporting Whole-Person Health
While your grandchild, niece, or cousin is experiencing this season of rapid growth and development, there are several things you can do to support them holistically. Many of these suggestions are likely things you already do as part of being an excellent grandparent or caregiver. However, it never hurts to hear these ideas again and to connect with the value of supporting this child.
Here are ten tips to refresh yourself on raising this tween or teen while paying attention to their growing identity and your needs. Follow the links to learn more about the individual tips.
- Prioritize healthy sleep routines.
- Develop healthy, nutritious eating habits.
- Be a safe, loving landing place for this child.
- Build opportunities for resilience into your days.
- Create safe, manageable rules for internet activity.
- Learn co- and self-regulation skills together.
- Create intentional points of connection with this tween or teen.
- Cultivate a growth mindset in your home.
- Encourage physical activity, hobbies, and activities that bring joy.
- Model self-care and connection in your community and with other caregivers.
This resource is an excellent place to learn more about teen development and how to support your family during this stage of development.