When a child struggles in school, they often receive special support and services through an IEP (individualized educational plan) or 505 plan. These accommodations and resources are unique to this child’s learning style or struggles. They can be a combination of services inside and outside of the classroom.
Creating this plan can be overwhelming, while you work with the educational team to identify areas of need, develop appropriate goals, and negotiate the right interventions and accommodations for this child. When you arrive at a mutually satisfying plan for this child, it is understandably frustrating if the child refuses to cooperate. However, it’s not uncommon for kids to refuse to comply with their IEPs and 504s.
Understanding Why a Child Won’t Cooperate with an IEP
Many kids, especially in the late elementary and early middle school stage, are hyper-aware of their learning differences. This awareness bumps up against one of the core needs of this age and stage: to seek independence. The developmental need to become independent drives them to separate from their adults and identify instead with their peers.
While this independence is typical for their age, managing their academic needs is challenging. Understanding why this child refuses to comply with their IEP or 504 can help you support them in finding a workable solution. These are a few reasons many kids don’t cooperate with their IEPs or 504s.
1. They feel othered.
Again, kids want to feel the same as their peers. When educational support or intervention requires them to leave the classroom (like speech therapy or reading support), they feel like every eye in the room is on them. They assume others judge their abilities and intelligence as they leave the class. While some kids have a higher tolerance than others for this, most kids don’t want to stand out as different from classmates.
2. They feel like something is wrong with them.
Adults understand that a learning difference doesn’t mean a child is “less than” or broken. But kids only come to understand much later in life that everyone’s brains work differently. Learning differences aren’t bad; they are just different. When children feel singled out for additional help or accommodation, they may have an inner voice saying that something is wrong with them.
3. They don’t understand why their IEP or 504 is beneficial.
It can be challenging for kids to buy into the benefits of their learning plans. Sometimes, it’s because they didn’t have a voice in crafting the plan. Other times, their learning challenges make understanding their needs and learning differences hard. If a child doesn’t know why they need a plan to support them, it doesn’t matter to them to decline help.
4. They don’t know how to self-advocate.
Kids with learning differences may need help telling teachers that specific support is not helping them. They may not know how to ask for a modification. Who should they talk to for extra help when they struggle? Again, to fit in and not stand out, they may stay silent and refuse or ignore support rather than ask for help to fix it.
As these kids get older and classes become more specialized, they might also refuse to comply with the learning plan because they don’t need support in one class. It might be hard to tell us or their teachers that the support works in one class but not another. Instead, they “clean sweep” and refuse the whole plan.
Understanding This Child’s “Why” Will Help You Help Them
Of course, a child might refuse to cooperate with their IEP or 504 for many other reasons. Determining what drives this child to decline their learning plan might take some time. However, when you take the time to seek and understand the underlying reasons, you make this child feel seen and heard. You tell them you are with them in this process and what they think matters to you.
In Part Two of this series, you will learn practical solutions to help you work through the refusals with your young person. In the meantime, remember that supporting a student with learning challenges takes patience and perseverance. Still, your determination and commitment can make a significant difference in this child’s life now and in the future.