This time of year, many grandparents and relative caregivers are heaving huge sighs of relief that kids are back in school. It’s beneficial to have the structure of the school routine to guide a child’s day. And the break for caregivers is physical, mental, and emotional. There is a sense of relief to have extra eyes on your grandkids and outside forces ordering your days.
While you are enjoying the change of pace, please consider the opportunity you may have to pay attention to your health and well-being. Self-care can feel like an indulgent luxury to some. To others, it feels like “one more thing” to add to your plate. Instead, consider how you can reframe it as a nourishing habit that can help you stay healthy and vibrant for the kids in your care. To ease the stress of putting another thing on your To-do list, we’ve compiled a list of ten simple things to try.
Ten Simple Habits of Self-Care
1. Focus on your “why.”
Consider the big picture of why you brought this child (or children) to your home each day. Connect with that intention and use it to help you stay focused without getting bogged down in the little things.
2. Be honest with yourself.
Pay close attention to how motivated you feel, your energy levels, and what emotions come up when you think about raising this child. Use that information to plan what must happen and how to make it happen. This habit can be especially helpful when unexpected challenges arise because you’ve already trained yourself to be honest about your limits and abilities.
3. Invest in mood boosters.
Figure out what makes you feel good and then plan it into your day, week, and month. Whether it’s a weekly yoga class, your book club, or swimming at the local YMCA, do physical and mental activities that stir up those happy hormones! Many researchers point us to the benefits of green space, water sounds, and fresh air. So try a walk around the local lake or a hike along the creek.
The daily activities might take just a few minutes each. Shoot for your weekly activities to give you a longer break. And if you can manage it, a monthly event that might offer a half or full-day away is ideal. But it’s okay to build up to that!
4. Prioritize sleep.
We get it – so many things can mess with a healthy night’s sleep. But sleep that restores and heals is vital to functioning at your best. Here are a few things that matter when building healthy sleep habits:
- Choose a cool, dark sleeping space.
- Designate a space that is just for sleep.
- Break away from electronics (phone, TV, podcasts, movies, etc.) early.
- Limit caffeine intake earlier in the day.
- Consider soothing background noise (fan, white noise, etc.)
Of course, other factors might affect your sleep habits. Consider what those may be and how you can honor your body and brain’s need for rest.
5. Engage in positive self-talk.
It can be much easier to be harder on ourselves than anyone else in our lives. But talking negatively about yourself lends to a sense of defeat, despair, or even depression. When you catch yourself beating up on yourself, stop that thought train. Switch tracks to what you know to be true and speak to yourself! For example, “I am a good grandmother to these kids.” Or, “No matter what, I keep trying.”
You may find it easier to start by describing what went well today and how you contributed to that, such as, “Johnny got a B on his spelling test, and I’m proud of how I helped him study with flash cards.”
6. Practice thankfulness.
Choosing gratitude is a fantastic self-care tool! It gets your mind focused on the many good things about your life and energizes you to keep on! If it’s hard to start, choose one thing each day as you prepare for bed. Say out loud what that is, starting with “I am grateful for….” You can build on it by saying why you are thankful for it or by adding one more thing every few nights.
7. Learn to manage stress.
Everyone experiences stress slightly differently. Figure out how you feel stress in your body and learn a few practical tools to work that stress out of your body. For example, if you hold stress in your shoulders, try a few stretching exercises targeting shoulder and neck muscles. Practice them every night. Here are a few other tools to try:
- Breathing exercises
- Prayer, mindfulness, meditation
- Journaling
- Regular activity (walking, biking, yoga, dancing)
8. Find a friend.
When raising kids impacted by trauma, prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs, or separation from their parents, we need someone to walk this road with us. Find a safe friend, family member, religious leader, or counselor for a safe space to share your load. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging, helpful folks who will carry the burden and share the joys.
9. Improve your intake.
When you are on the run, anxious, or overwhelmed, grabbing quick, low-value foods is easy. Consider how you can add more beneficial foods to your family’s intake. Look for foods (and ingredients) that will boost brain and body function, like more fresh fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and fiber. Use a slow cooker to ease families’ preparation time between school and dinner.
10. Reduce “in the moment” decisions.
How can you reduce stress by reducing the time crunch of “decide now?” For example, can you plan meals for the week when you plan your grocery list? Some families find it helpful to lay out the kids’ clothes for school the night before—or even for the full week ahead. Create bath time, bedtime, homework, and before-school routines that are the same every week so they become like muscle memory. Designate one night a week as a “Left-Over Night.”
Whatever simple routines you can put in place to take decisions off your plate can be excellent self-care! Streamlining your daily routines and calendar may be challenging initially, but if you call it self-care and stress-reducing, you might feel an extra boost to push through the challenge.
Start Small and Build for Big Impact
Honor your intention to improve your self-care by starting small. First, try to choose one or two activities that will fuel your body, mind, and spirit. Add them in small doses to your day, then your week. Changes done in small increments over many days tend to create lasting habits and have a significant impact on your overall well-being.