Your grandchild (or cousin or nephew) has likely had some challenging experiences before coming to your home. Your safe, steady presence and firm, loving boundaries are helpful, but you sense that this child needs more help than you alone can give. It’s common for kids like this to need therapy to navigate the obstacles they have faced. But don’t do an internet search just yet!
How to Find a Therapist for Your Grandchild
The suggestions here can help you find a therapist or counselor who is trained to handle the issues that children like your grandchild or cousin have experienced. If you are working with a caseworker, please be sure to seek their input for therapy resources, too. They might be aware of limitations or requirements you must consider first.
1. Start with the Professionals in Your Community.
Before calling the therapists that came up on your first internet search, consider speaking with the foster or kinship professionals that are already working in your tribal community. Again, if your grandchild has an assigned caseworker, have a conversation about the needs you observe and the help you think this child needs. Many caseworkers, even if they are not involved in your grandchild’s care, already keep running list of local mental health professionals they can recommend. If you don’t know of any child welfare professionals in your community, look for other adoption or foster professionals in your region whom you can contact.
2. Get some “Word of Mouth” Recommendations.
Ask other grandparents, aunts, or extended family who have also cared for children in your tribal community to get recommendations. If you have a few names of therapists already on your list, get feedback about those.
Word of mouth is a great way to start, but please also be careful whom you ask. You want to get input from trusted and respected friends and family who can respect your grandchild’s privacy. Assure them that you will respect their privacy in return. You need their honesty to make an effective search for the right care for this child. Talking about potentially tender and private topics can be sticky, so use sensitivity and caution as you go.
3. Think about Who Is Already in Your Contacts List.
You probably already have several helpful professionals in your email or cell phone contacts list who might be helpful sources for your search. Your grandchild’s parents might also have additional contacts to consider.
- Family doctors
- Pediatricians
- Children’s hospital
- Spiritual leaders, clergy, and lay-leaders
- School counselors or guidance team
Of course, you won’t know for sure if these professionals will recommend the type of therapist or counselor your grandchild needs. But they are usually well-connected in the community and can give you a starting point. You might to see one or two names repeated frequently. That’s great – and you can get the ball rolling with those. Conversations might need to be scheduled separately as an office visit. There may be a fee for the appointment or consultation. Ask about how they handle this when you call.
4. Check for Insurance Coverage.
Many times, insurance coverage determines the options you pursue. Find out if your grandchild has insurance coverage, and what their benefits for mental health care are. Read their policy (you can usually do that on the plan’s website) or call the Customer Services department for help understanding the coverage. Ask which providers are in-network and whether telehealth is an option. If you think you will need to choose an “out of network” provider, ask Customer Services how to seek possible reimbursement.
Be sure to carefully question each provider you contact to understand their insurance policies, including billing, visit limits, and co-payments. It can take a lot of time to get informed, but if you find a provider who is in-network and allowed by the child’s coverage, the time can be worth it.
5. Now Try an Online Search.
Online research can offer a mixed bag of results. It can also be a huge commitment of time. Now that you’ve asked a few friends whom you trust, talked with a professional or two, and checked for insurance benefits, you can narrow your list. Then compare it against your internet search.
These websites can provide reliable information for finding a therapist or counselor for your grandchild.
- Child Welfare Information Gateway, from the US Department of Health and Human Services, offers a variety of resources to help families find therapy, including different types of therapy and how to choose a therapist.
- Adopt US Kids – a national organization known for increasing awareness of the needs of children and teens in foster care. They have a page of supports that includes mental health resources to get you started.
- org offers a resource page of suggestions, links, and questions to ask when you are searching for therapy.
Finding the Right Fit Takes Time.
The choice of which therapist is right for you and your family is an intensely personal preference. You should be prepared for some “trial and error” to get the right fit, and that’s okay.
Resources to Help You Ask the Right Questions
A critical part of connecting this child to the right therapist is knowing what questions to ask. It would be ideal to ask these questions in person if you can schedule a consultation. However, not all therapists offer a free consultation, so be prepared to either pay for an office visit or ask for a phone appointment to get answers to your questions. These two resources can help you prepare.
- A Guide to Selecting an Adoption or Foster Therapist – includes specific interview questions to ask. The guide focuses on adoption and foster care, but your grandchild’s experiences are quite similar to adoption and foster care. Adoption or foster-competent therapists can be an excellent option for your grandchild if you can find one.
- Therapists: Parents Should Be With Their Kids for Adoptive or Foster Therapy Sessions – written to an audience of therapists and counselors. However, it will help you understand the benefits of participating in therapy with your grandchild.
Set Your Goal and Keep Moving Toward It.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the search for the right therapist or counselor for your grandchild. When that child is hurting, you hurt too. Consider how you can support your grandchild with predictable routine and emotional safety while you search. These tips are starting points to help you manage the load of information you uncover in the search for therapy to help your grandchild heal.