When raising a grandchild, cousin, or other loved one, you may need to navigate the special education services at their school. The world of IEPs and 504s, speech therapy, and reading support might make you feel like you need to learn another language. But pressing through the confusing terminology and learning how to represent this child well is one key thing you can do to set the stage for their success.
It’s common for kids who have experienced early childhood chaos or trauma to be “neurodiverse” or to think differently than their peers. Learning how to advocate for this child through the special education process can also be vital in supporting yourself so you can help them.
5 Tips for Advocating for This Child’s Special Education Services
1. See and present the whole child.
When a child has experienced trauma or chaos and can no longer live safely at home, they often have challenging behaviors that show up at school. These behaviors might include:
Irritability and disruption in class- Exhaustion or inability to stay attentive
- Aggression or defiance
- Disengagement from learning
- Lack of self-esteem or confidence
Looking at this precious child through the lens of the trauma they have experienced can change your response to them but also the responses of the teachers supporting them. This child might need to learn skills that will help them manage those behaviors better. However, the trauma lens also allows you – and the teachers – to remember that this child is not merely the sum of these troubles. They also have unique strengths to share! When speaking with teachers and administrators at your grandchild’s school, call attention to their strengths. Ask how the team plans to build on those strengths so this child can find a way to shine. You can even request that some of these ideas be written into the formal plan to support your grandchild at school.
2. Know when and how to get an educational assessment.
Maybe your loved one has learning delays or misses age-appropriate milestones. They may isolate themselves during group playtime. They might struggle to interact with peers or seek out children much younger than they are for playmates. Observe areas where you see them working to catch up. Consider talking with the child’s pediatrician for recommendations and referrals.
For children who are preschool age or younger (typically 0 to 3 years old), you can seek an educational assessment through the local early intervention agency. After three years old, you can request an educational evaluation from your local public school system. This assessment is the first step in getting your child the services they need to succeed in school.
Once an assessment is completed, the evaluator will meet with you to review the findings and help you understand the report. Be prepared to ask many questions, take notes, and ask for links or website recommendations that can help you further understand the report. Many caregivers find it helpful to bring a support person to the meetings for more ears to hear the information.
3. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
As this child’s primary caregiver, you are the expert on this child! Demonstrate that you have this child’s best interest in mind by keeping a clear and open line of communication with the school staff via email and phone calls. Attend learning support meetings and participate in the school’s community events, like recitals, plays, and book fairs.
Be proactive with your grandchild’s educational experience. Don’t wait until a struggle in the classroom or with homework becomes significant and emotionally charged. Try instead to express concerns early and be curious about what works at school so you can try it at home, too. Ask for clarification when you need it regarding recommendations or plans they are creating.
Remember to keep it all in writing. Email is your best option, so the communication cannot be misinterpreted and will have a timestamp. And, of course, maintain friendly and open communication, creating a support team for your child.
4. Keep good records.
Create an organizational plan to help you track the evaluations, assessments, meeting notes, and other paperwork pertinent to your grandchild’s learning plan. Some caregivers like three-ring binders with tabs to separate various categories. Others prefer accordion-style folders; others scan it all and keep digitized records.
Keeping these records in reverse date order is a good idea, with the most recent information on top. Carry your binder to all meetings regarding your child. Showing up prepared and organized will show your commitment to this child’s success, project an air of competence, and make it much easier for you to put your hands on important information.
5. Stay calm and carry on.
Being involved with your grandchild or loved one’s school experience to this level might be a challenge – especially if there are challenges at home, too. However, raising a child with unmet educational needs can be far more overwhelming! Remember that you are not alone – many parents and caregivers are learning to advocate for their kids’ best interests at school, too! Try to assume that the teachers and administrators genuinely want this child to succeed, even when you continually advocate, question, and explain yourself to them. Do your best to stay calm and keep your worries about your grandchild’s future from spinning out of control.
These additional resources will help you better understand the world of special education services: