When you have a child with autism in your life, whether it is a grandchild you are raising or a loved one’s child, it’s important to remember that they are capable of amazing things. This child may need additional support at school and home to find their path to success. The symptoms of autism fall across a broad spectrum, which is why autism is officially called Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
Some kids need significant interventions for their whole life. Others have hidden talents and genius just waiting to shine through. And some kids fall somewhere in between those ranges. How can you support a child with autism to succeed now and as they grow so that unique preciousness shines through?
5 Tips to Support a Child with Autism to Succeed
1. Know the signs.
As with many childhood brain differences, the sooner this child gets an accurate diagnosis, the sooner they can gain the proper support from family and professionals. A precise diagnosis becomes especially critical if this child remains non-verbal past age 5. If you do not have the legal right to seek medical care, work with the child’s parents to get on the same page. You can also speak with the child’s pediatrician or a school counselor about evaluations if you think autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a possibility.
What are those signs?
Even though there are many variations, there are two core areas doctors and specialists consider in diagnosing autism (ASD):
- difficulties with social communication
- restrictive or repetitive behavior
This child might have shown typical physical motor skill development through infancy and even toddlerhood. However, they may lag behind peers in eye contact, baby-babbling, or language progress. Remember that even with a growing vocabulary, they may need help correctly using words. They might also lack the ability to connect socially with their peers. You might see them playing alone or preferring adults over same-age peers than typical for their age.
By the time they enter school, children with autism continue to struggle with social interactions. They also often show intense interest in some areas but little interest in others. These behaviors can impact the child’s desire to learn or keep up with their classmates.
2. Support language development.
Language delays and related challenges in communicating with others are common issues for children on the autism spectrum. There are several things you can do to improve and support this child’s existing skills and even help develop other skills.
Create opportunities for conversation based on their interests.
For example, if your grandchild has a preferred activity like car rides, try to narrate this experience each time you get in the car together. In fact, create extra opportunities to go for rides together when you can! While riding around together, prompt them to repeat your words, fill in the blanks, or tell you what comes next. Keep the narration consistent, short, and simple, like this: “Open the door.” “Buckle your seatbelt.” “Let’s go!” This predictable repetition will draw them into listening and learning language.
Play naming games with them.
Try simple games like these:
- Put several of this child’s favorite small objects in a bag. Pull them out one by one. Ask the child to identify each.
- Try other naming games like “I see a cow. What do you see?” Or “My shirt is blue. James’ shirt is _______.”
Make them fun, but keep the games short and straightforward.
Teach them how to ask questions and respond.
Teaching a child with autism how to ask questions and answer appropriately is crucial. They need these back-and-forth communication skills to advocate for themselves, be safe, and connect socially. Again, make it into a game and repeat the process consistently to build their memory for the skills.
3. Lean into their strengths.
All children have unique strengths and interests. Each is precious and worthy of understanding and knowing. If you can identify this child’s strengths, you can unlock the keys motivating them to learn. You can also make them feel seen and valued. Every child deserves to be a source of joy to their grown-ups. They also deserve to find happiness and confidence in their own strengths.
When raising a younger child with autism, you can create opportunities for activities around their interests. Attend community events that spotlight someone with a strength or talent like this child’s interests. Think about buying books and watching movies that feature those interests. For example, if this child is all about dump trucks, find YouTube videos that feature dump trucks and other construction vehicles.
Older grandchildren can join special interest or hobby clubs at school, through the local library, or elsewhere in the community. Celebrate this child’s participation – not just their accomplishments. Be sure their educational team also knows what strengths and interests you observe in your grandchild. And remember, even if it is not an activity you enjoy, joining your loved one’s child in their interests can be an excellent bonding experience between you!
4. Try these proven techniques.
The challenges of autism can lead to a frustrated and, at times, even aggressive child. Teach your grandchild different, positive replacement behaviors rather than punishing inappropriate behavior. Again, please share what you know about this child’s triggers and how you cope at home with their school team.
Re-direction
Be ready to re-direct the child when you see frustrations mounting. This might require that you stay close, which can be exhausting! But taking a preventative stance is a protection for you both. You will likely have to do some quick, creative thinking on the spur of the moment – it’s okay if you don’t get it right the first time!. You can always revisit the challenging behavior later and decide on other ways to manage it when calm.
(Please remember to take care of yourself well so you have the reserves to be vigilant and responsive.)
Priming
Priming is a method of creating routine, familiarity, and preparedness with this child. You can help the child feel safe and comfortable about new things by preparing them with familiar, predictable interactions (like the narrating tip mentioned earlier).
For example, for several nights before a new weekly activity is added to your calendar, read a book about that activity at bedtime. Or introduce a new story they will be studying in school by reading parts of it together each night.
With older grandkids, try to read the directions to a homework assignment when they get home from school and again when you sit down after dinner to help them with the work. Support that by having casual conversations at the dinner table about the topic of the homework assignment.
Peer suppport
Peer support can be a great tool to improve a child’s social skills. Some schools offer playground partners, study buddies, or peer mentors. These are opportunities where this child can observe and interact with another child who is prepared to model appropriate behavior and language.
5. Get the school on this child’s team!
Most teachers actively seek what will serve their students best. When raising a child with ASD, you may have to offer practical suggestions for what will support your grandchild with autism. There are several helpful ways you can do that to get them on this child’s team:
- Share the child’s strengths, interests, and triggers with them.
- Request that the child’s IEP or 504 documents include these notes on their strengths and interests.
- Let them know what parenting and correction techniques you find successful at home.
- Tell them how you motivate this child to learn. For example, using child choice, natural reinforcers, task variation, building on strengths, or interspersing complex and easy tasks.
- Advocate for this child to be included with non-autistic children as much as possible.
Adopting a friendly teamwork attitude is the best way to work with the teachers. Consider creating a “cheat sheet” of the ideas you discuss with them so they can regularly and easily refer to it.
There is Hope for This Child’s Success
Living with a child who has autism or receiving a new diagnosis of autism can feel overwhelming, scary, and stressful. However, there is tremendous hope for children with autism to experience success as they grow. The treatments and interventions for autism are improving rapidly thanks to ongoing science. Resources for transitions to adulthood and independent living among individuals with autism are growing. Together, you and your grandchild can discover their unique path to success when you have the tools and resources to draw out their strengths.