The Winter Blues and Kids Impacted by Trauma
Kids who have experienced trauma, loss, or early life chaos often struggle with challenging behaviors, mental health disorders, and delayed development. The seasonal shift to shorter, darker days can add another layer of impact to their moods and coping skills. They might be more vulnerable to the winter blues because of their struggles and early life history. You may be more vulnerable because raising this child brings additional stress, even if welcoming this child was your choice.
You might notice your grandchild struggling with increased symptoms of depression, trying to stay calm, or feeling anxious during this time of year. Suppose you are also feeling some of these seasonal changes. In that case, it can create an ugly stew of emotions, behaviors, and unease in your home.
There are ways to support yourself and the children in your home to survive the season and learn healthy coping skills.
Watch and Learn
Observing your family’s behaviors is the first and most helpful way to manage winter blues. Ask yourself a few questions:
- How are they transitioning from holidays back to school, work, and regular routine?
- Does anyone need more (or less) sleep than usual?
- Have their eating habits changed? Eating much more or much less?
- Are the moods in the house stable and typical for your family?
- When are challenging behaviors or moods most noticeable? To what degree?
Recognizing that one of you is struggling more than usual is crucial. Sometimes, the winter blues are more than just a challenging season. If you are concerned about your family member’s mental health, make an appointment with a doctor right away. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is treatable, as are clinical depression and other mood disorders that might be at the root of the struggle.
5 Tips to Bust the Blues
These impactful changes to your schedule can help you work through the impacts of the winter blues.
1. Focus on Food.
Increase the protein, fruits, and vegetables in your family’s diet. Lean proteins help your cravings for carbohydrates and sugar, which helps prevent energy levels from crashing. Fruits and leafy greens are high in Vitamin C, iron, fiber, and other vitamins and minerals that boost internal health and immunity.
Consider also adding foods loaded with Vitamin D. Try adding more fatty fish, fish oil, and Vitamin D-fortified foods like milk, orange juice, breakfast cereals, and yogurt to help balance everyone’s moods.
And remember to hydrate! It’s easy in the winter months to drink more hot beverages. However, if those hot drinks contain caffeine, you might be dehydrated. Your immune system and brain function will thank you for the switch to caffeine-free herbal teas.
2. Get Moving.
Exercise is an excellent way to boost bad moods. Be creative in adding movement to your grandchild’s day. Our kids will often benefit from physical exertion that meets their sensory processing needs. Try rolling giant snowballs or building blanket forts. Take turns walking the dog – Fido will also benefit from the movement and fresh air!
If the kids bounce off the walls and trigger each other, start a dance party break or take a brisk walk to reset the environment. Build time into the after-school and weekend routines for physical exercise, whether it’s time on the trampoline or indoor soccer.
If you don’t already, incorporate regular physical activity into your calendar. Try walking during lunch or before the rest of the family gets home. There are many free apps and videos on the internet to suit the exertion level and ability you seek. Whatever time of day works for you, try to get some focused time to reset your mind and move your body.
3. Hold Structure Steady.
It’s tempting to let things go and drop your intentions and consistency when you feel the winter blues. While that might feel good in the moment of decision, it can create feelings of chaos for your grandchild later. Resist the temptation by developing a mantra for yourself like, “My consistency now will help us overcome the blues later.” Choose something that triggers you to enter the structure rather than abandon it.
If you still need to establish a predictable routine for your home, there’s no time like the present! Try breaking the day into chunks, focusing on a few essential tasks for each portion of the day. Again, apps, phone alarms, or smart-home devices can help your family move through the day.
For kids not yet reading well, consider picture schedules to help them stay on task. Turning regular weekly chores into games with prizes or rewards, like Chores Bingo, can boost moods. Routines can be predictable and fun at the same time. The hidden benefit is that you get more cooperation if they are having fun.
Try to incorporate these crucial elements into your schedule:
- Healthy, consistent sleep schedules
- Regular meals and snacks
- Designated schoolwork time and place
- Downtime to read, rest, or play
4. Accentuate the Positive.
Sometimes, the beauty of winter is breathtaking! When you sense the household is sluggish or blue, seek beauty around you. Go on a nature walk. Take a series of nature shots on your phone and share them with your grandchildren. Showing them how to seek the beauty around them will surely boost their moods.
Train yourselves to call out the joyful or positive moments of your day. Many families do “high points and low points” at family mealtime as conversation starters. Switch it up to a winter-blues version for your family, like “I Spied Something Beautiful Today” or “Three Great Things from Today” when you sit down to eat together.
Speaking of family time, be intentional about regularly gathering for fun, engaging activities. Establish a family movie night or a game night if you don’t already have one. Start a chess or checkers tournament. Keep the atmosphere positive and connecting, without competition, even if it means playing games the older kids have outgrown. If you are a bookish crowd, do a Book Review Night where you each share your most recent reads. The goal is to find positive activities you can all look forward to and enjoy as a group.
5. Know When to Slow It All Down.
Even if you don’t immediately sense that one of your family members is struggling with the winter blues, knowing when to pause and slow life down is crucial. Sometimes, you might feel overwhelmed because it’s not just the winter blues. There are also IEP struggles or visits with Mom and Dad that were awful. Be careful not to miss the signs that the people in your home need a break.
These are just a few signs that you and your family must hop off the Busy Train for a short break at the home station.
- Increased irritability, moodiness
- Increase in challenging behaviors
- Regression of behaviors
- Spike in exhaustion or sleep
- Increased or decreased appetite
- Difficulty holding to routine
- Increased sibling challenges
Schedule a down day or even a whole weekend. Turn your phones off and stash them in a basket for a few hours. Let the kids stay in their jammies. Pile the blankets and pillows into the family room for a favorite movie. Order out or make an easy dinner. Play games. Take naps. Find ways to spend time together that feel refreshing and rejuvenating.
Of course, if these signs persist and you are concerned about the risks of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) or depression, reach out to a medical professional right away.
Be Creative and Intentional to Manage the Winter Blues
Struggling with the winter blues is common for anyone who lives in non-tropical regions. Arming yourself with information about what to look for and how to cope with the challenges of the winter season is an excellent start. To creatively manage the winter blues with your family, ask them what will boost their moods or energize them. You might get some fun new ideas for busting those blues together!