Your grandchild’s (or niece’s or nephew’s) school experience will likely be very different from yours in some ways and similar in others. Some of us have happy school memories, like a favorite teacher, childhood best friend, or a fun field trip. Others have unhappy memories of school, like struggling to fit in, unkind teachers or students, fighting about homework, or getting in trouble. As their caregivers, our memories, good or bad, can form attitudes we pass on to the children in our care. And let’s face it, schools have changed a lot during our lifetime.
7 Tips to Set Up Your Grandchild for Success in School
Setting your grandchild up for success in school doesn’t require a college degree. It does, however, take some thought. Getting your grandchild through school is a marathon, not a sprint. Small steps to form good habits can make a big difference.
1. Make school a priority.
Let the child know that school is essential. Talk about how the school prepares them for success in adulthood. Help them get to school on time every day.
2. Communicate with the school.
Don’t be afraid to walk into the school and meet your child’s teacher. They are people, too! Even if your school memories are not good, your past doesn’t have to decide their future. Have lunch with your child if your school allows it. Go to school plays. Attend back-to-school nights and parent/teacher conferences.
Introduce yourself and tell the teacher something great about your grandchild! You should share the child’s unique needs and skills or strengths. Don’t forget to add important medical or health issues that might impact the child’s school experience. If an in-person meeting is impossible, you can email or write a letter to your child’s teacher.
Keep the lines of communication open by signing papers sent home and emailing or calling the teacher when needed. Be friendly and upbeat when talking about your grandchild. Help create a team feeling with the teacher to help your child do their very best.
3. Establish good habits at home.
Stick to a regular bedtime on school nights to be sure your grandchild gets enough sleep — good sleep = healthy brain power. Make sure the child gets a good breakfast and lunch, either from home or at school.
4. Help with Homework.
Have a designated place for your student to do homework. When you create their homework routine, be sure to provide the tools needed to work, such as pens, pencils, paper, calculators, a computer, and access to the internet. Be creative—if you don’t have the internet at home, use your local library, coffee shop, or school parking lot.
Encourage your grandchild to keep their space organized. Teach them to write down assignments at school. Many schools give students planners or agendas for this. Support the use of the tool by reinforcing the benefits of using it.
Make sure the amount of time your child spends on homework is reasonable. Use the 10-minute rule: children should have no more than 10 minutes of homework per grade level each day. In other words, a 2nd grader should have no more than 20 minutes per day. Your 7th-grade student should have no more than 70 minutes of homework per day. If they are spending more time than this on homework, let the teacher know.
It’s okay if you don’t know how to do your grandchild’s homework! You can try googling it, but don’t feel you have to know the answer. Some kids might prefer to phone a classmate for help. Also, let the teacher know if the child needs a lot of help to complete their homework.
If the only thing you feel you can do is read to your child daily, that is huge! And reading out loud is not just for very young children. Your school-aged child will also enjoy a read-aloud chapter book. Reading helps build the child’s vocabulary and teaches them good grammar. Asking questions and talking about what you’re reading makes them think. And reading together is a great bonding activity.
5. A Child’s Learning Needs Can Make School Challenging.
Many children in grandparent-led families have special needs that make school challenging. Talk to your child’s pediatrician or teacher about whether they are hitting the typical developmental milestones. If your child seems to always be behind others their age, you can ask the school to test them for a learning disability.
Having your child labeled with a learning problem can be hard to hear. But it can also get them educational services. And it helps the teachers understand your child better. No matter what, keep bragging about and praising this child for their strengths!
6. When Things Go Wrong.
Your grandchild brings home a note from the teacher about something they did wrong at school. Or they say they hate school. Worse yet, you get a phone call at work from the school asking that you come and get your child for severe misbehavior. First, take a deep breath. The story has many sides: the teacher’s, the child’s, and the truth. Get the whole story before responding. Keep communication flowing between home and school.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions – it shows you care. Let your child know what you expect from them while at school. Then, follow through with communication and healthy consequences at home if appropriate. Advocate for your child if you think the school misunderstands your child’s challenges.
7. Look at the BIG picture.
Absolutely talk to your child about school and praise their successes! But try not to sweat the small stuff. Prioritize family relationships over academic achievement. Your child’s physical, mental, and emotional health are more important than winning the school spelling bee.